Posts Tagged ‘adoption’

Ms. Taco Wishes She Was Part Of ‘The Fosters’ Family

So, on June 10th, I had just watched the summer premiere of Switched At Birth and I left ABC family on as I wandered in and out of the room. I then looked over at the TV and saw Teri Polo, who I’m only really familiar with as The Chef Who Dated Ben On Felicity. So, I was kinda like, “hmm, interesting, what is this?”. And so began my summer obsession with The Fosters. So, nobody reads this blog. But, those of you who do know that I kinda love foster children. I mean, I devoted not one, but two posts, to Parenthood’s adoption storyline last season. So, you can imagine my excitement when I saw that this was about a family with two foster kids. And two adopted kids. And they’re headed by a lesbian couple. And one half of this couple has a biological son from her previous marriage. And yeah, it’s all a little too much but, I was kinda in love ya know? So, ‘summer obsession’ might be too tame of a term. I literally watched many of the episodes multiple times over the course of the summer. And while that might just sound really crazy especially in light of the fact that I had many other shows to catch up, I think this really highlights the fact that there isn’t really anything like The Fosters on TV right now. And I don’t just mean all the things I previously mentioned. There’s something about the way the kids and parents interact that’s really real. I don’t feel like I’m watching the same old stuff where the kids are always smarter than the adults or teenagers are dressing and acting provacatively and everyone acts like it’s completely normal. In a world where the teens of Gossip Girl and 90210 are traipsing around as adults in teenage bodies it’s so refreshing to see a show capturing what feels like real adolescence again. When I watch The Fosters I’m like, “yeah, I used to know these people”. With that being said, I am also really excited about the foster, adoptive, biological, lesbian family that is The Fosters. There’s something about the way the family weaves so seamlessly together. There’s something about the way that all this stuff matters and yet, it doesn’t. So here, in no particular order are my top ten moments from Season 1 of The Fosters (it was so hard to pick just ten!):

  • Mariana apologizes…and gets a mama sandwich.

Just when we were ready to write Mariana off for being super selfish for not dancing with her moms at her Quinceanera, she pulls out a truly heartfelt apology. A scene that could have just been really corny was really all about identity, It’s not easy being an adolescent, let alone an adopted adolescent, let alone an adolescent adopted by two women. The fact that Stef and Lena completely understood where she was coming from made it all the more better.

  • Wyatt tells Callie to ‘go for it’.

Whether you are a fan of Wallie or Ballie (Brallie?) this scene was just so sweet because it showed how much Wyatt really got Callie. While I don’t really love Callie and Brandon as a couple, ‘go for it’ is pretty good advice to live by. Yeah, it kinda didn’t work out in the end, but seeing Callie take this first step toward her leap of faith was pretty satisfying to see from a character who started off being so insecure.

  • Mariana worries that her family won’t want her anymore.

After Mariana reads the poem that was given to her and Jesus by Stef and Lena on their adoption day, she wonders out loud if her parents will even want to keep her after the tragic results of her actions. As viewers we were like, ‘of course they are going to keep you’, but if we keep in  mind the pervious scene where we saw that Stef met Mariana and Jesus when their foster parents dropped them off at her police station, it all becomes very clear.  Connect this with my next pick and it all  makes perfectly sad sense.

  • Mariana connects with Callie the way only a former foster kid can.

We did wonder if Mariana had in fact read Callie’s journal until this scene when we realize that despite all the animosity, Mariana really connected with what Callie was going through (“I rememember what that was like, being passed around all the time. I don’t think I ever felt safe until I came here.”). This was our first indication that there’s way more to Mariana than her selfish exterior and a great example of how layered these characters are.

  • Stef confronts her dad.

Probably the most tear-jerking scene of the season. We assumed Stef was just being Stef when she didn’t want to do all of the traditional wedding customs only to find out that she wasn’t able to drown out the inner voice of her father telling her a lesbian marriage was wrong. I’m glad Stef’s dad didn’t miraculously show up at the wedding. The Fosters reminded us in this scene that emotional scars do run deep and they don’t just get resolved by the end of an episode.

  • Stef and Lena get married.

Knowing that this was being filmed the very day that DOMA was overturned makes it all the more special. Simply said, it was simply beautiful. And, hey, now that they are official, they are up against Eric and Tami Taylor for my favorite TV married couple of all time!

  • Lena tells Jude how unfair the world can be.

If I was ordering these, this scene would be very close to, if not at the top. This is just another example of how this show is unlike most others on TV. What other show has a 12 year old boy painting his nails not as a joke but as a silent exploration of his sexual identity? Lena’s story about how she and Stef, though comfortable in who they are as a couple, are not always comfortable sharing this with the world reminds us that although we’ve come far, we have many miles to go. Sherri Saum and Hayden Byerly were pitch perfect in this scene.

  • Mariana and Lexi make up.

All the other scenes on this list seem like they are of a different caliber, but this is here because I was genuinely sad when these two were on the outs. I think what I liked about this scene was how understated it was. There was no dramatic dialogue. The forgiveness was understood. And the support that life long friends have for each other was front and center.

  • Lena struggles with forgiveness.

So raw and honest that I didn’t expect it. For a character like Lena, who is so warm and loves her kids so much, to admit that she was struggling with forgiving them was truly shocking. Another great example of these layered characters. You can be a good person and still struggle with forgiveness. Sheri Saum played anger and hurt so well, that I was actually starting to wonder if she was going to forgive Mariana before the end of the episode. But of course she did!

  • Stef and Lena decide to adopt Callie and Jude.

Yeah, it happened kinda quick, but we were waiting for this moment all season. Of course we knew something had to go wrong in the end but seeing the looks on Callie’s and Jude’s faces was heartwarming. We’ve waited five and a half months to see how this is all going to play out in light of Callie and Brandon’s relationship…

But the wait is over! So there ya have it, folks, my ten favorite moments of The Fosters season 1, part 1. I hope you are all going to be tuning in to The Fosters winter premiere. I know I will be, so I I can start compiling my next top ten!

Ms. Taco’s Take: Parenthood’s Adoption Storyline (Part 2)

maSo Parenthood went ahead and concluded its season and its adoption storyline. Going into this episode I, along with many viewers, were worried that this storyline would wrap up with a nice little bow on top. And, let’s be honest, it did. But, is that a bad thing? Let’s take a look at that. First let’s be honest and acknowledge the thing every Parenthood fan doesn’t want to talk about. Parenthood hasn’t been renewed yet, and while a lot of people are guessing that it will get at least one more season, there’s no guarantee that we are ever going to see these characters again. Jason Katims is familiar with shows being on the bubble all the way back to his Roswell days. I can honestly say that I would never want to be a TV writer dealing with a bubble show. You have to kind of create this balance between tying up what you can so that people will be satisfied if it’s the end and leaving enough open for the next season, if there is one. Being a person who has had a lot of her favorite shows cancelled before their prime, I can attest to the fact that it really sucks when a show is cancelled with many storylines left unresolved. If you love TV as much as I do, you know your favorite TV characters better than you know some of your friends. So imagine that your friend was in the middle of some crisis and then you never heard about them again. For me, that is the equivalent of a show ending without the writers crafting a proper final episode. Now of course, some things can be left open because again, if you love TV as much as I do, you end up imagining characters’ lives going an after a show ends anyway.

With all that being said, I think the writers did a really good job with Victor’s adoption in the season finale. Because after three seasons of Julia and Joel going through disappointment after disappointment, if this is the last season of the show, we need to be left with the idea that things are going to work out for them. And Victor. Sorry, I have to put him in there because this kid has really gotten a bad rap this season. When you spend x number of seasons with characters, and it comes time to say goodbye, you want to know they are going to be okay, reality be damned. So, I was okay with the bow the writers put on top of that storyline. I think I was even kind of wishing for it despite how much I wanted things presented in a realistic way. Because I’m a sucker for a happy ending. And because Julia is my favorite Parenthood character. And because Julia and Joel are one of my favorite current TV couples. So there it is, I liked it.

Now let’s go back to the whole Victor thing for a minute. Because I really do think he’s gotten a bad rap on this show, and I’m not just saying that because I’ve worked with kids like him and know the kind of issues they are dealing with. I’m saying that because Victor and Julia did have some good moments this season. It hasn’t been the gloom and doom that people have been making it out to be. Victor didn’t make a spectacular 180 personality change in the season finale. If anything, the writers were very careful to get across the message early on that deep down, he’s a good kid.

Two scenes in the finale stand out to me with respect to this storyline. The first is when Victor breaks the vase, or whatever it is, and he and Julia have a mini heart to heart. You can argue that it was forced and that Victor breaking the vase was simply setup for them having this conversation, and that might be true. But it allowed the two characters to give each other what they needed, mutual approval. By Victor asking Julia if she’s going to change her mind about the adoption, he acknowledged that there is at least some part of him that wants to be there, which connects back to her asking him in the previous episode if the adoption sounds good to him. And by Julia saying, “I want you to stick around”, she’s letting him know that he is wanted and she’s not going to give up on him, which was Victor’s biggest fear as portrayed so wonderfully by Xolo Mariduena. Seriously, what he did with his eyes and lips and face in general in that scene to show his fear and worry. That kid can act. I loved the simplicity of the scene. I loved that there wasn’t this big emotional hug between them. Anyway, I loved it. And, come on, we knew all along Victor wanted to be a Graham Braverman. Who doesn’t want to be a Braverman?? Seriously, if they would adopt me, I would totally go with that.

The other scene that stood out to me was when the judge finalized the adoption and mainly the moment when he tells them it is final. Erika Christensen again does an excellent job conveying something without words in that moment. There’s definitely fear in her eyes, the notion that ‘oh my god, this is it, no turning back’. And that’s the piece right there that Jason Katims leaves us with for next season, we hope. Julia isn’t completely sure that this is going to work. She’s still pretty scared. And, I hope that if when the show returns next season, they explore this aspect. Because I think this is a story worth investing in and I think it’s a story that isn’t explored enough in television and movies.

Before I close up, just want to note the really nice work Sam Jaeger did this season portraying Joel. Unfortunately, there was so much to cover already with this storyline that I didn’t get into his scenes very much. Being that Joel in general has been a background character, it was really nice to see him front and center in this storyline balancing out Julia’s fears and worries with optimism and faith. I hope the writers continues to put him front and center next season. He most certainly has earned it.

Well there it is folks. I know it took a while for me to finally churn this out. Any thoughts on this storyline?

Ms. Taco’s Take: Parenthood’s Adoption Storyline (Part 1)

Parenthood wrapped up its short fourth season at the end of January in what could have been, but we hope it’s not, a series finale. By that I mean that a good amount of the characters were treated to a happy ending. I’m in an interesting spot with Parenthood where I’m finished with the current season not having watched all of the previous ones. As of this writing, I’m about halfway through season 3. Back in 2010 when Parenthood first came on the scene I gave it a shot for about four weeks before deciding that I was overwhelmed by the size of its cast. My sister knows that I love a good foster care/adoption storyline (see Life Unexpected) as I’m a social worker who used to work with the foster care population, so she alerted me to the fact that Julia and Joel of Parenthood would be involved in a storyline this season about adopting a foster child. That’s all I needed to hear to jump back on the Parenthood bandwagon, and I’m definitely glad I did.

You don’t really see storylines like this presented on TV very often and when they are, they can be very hit or miss as far as how realistically they are portrayed. I try not to get caught up in whether the legal aspect and such make sense because, after all, we are dealing with a 42 minute a week television series that has a lot of ground to cover. It’s sometimes tough to make things like this work when you are dealing with a limited time frame. Not to mention the fact that in Parenthood’s case, we are dealing with a limited amount of episodes because you know it would just be ridiculous to put a little faith in Jason Katims, the guy who created a little show called Friday Night Lights you may have heard of. But I digress. My focus when watching these storylines usually is on whether the show is getting the feelings and emotions of the characters right. Hey, I’m a therapist, what can I say? So basically, my thing is, are these characters acting in ways that make sense? With respect to Parenthood’s adoption storyline, I think they’ve done an excellent job of at least portraying the emotional aspect of this situation in a realistic way.

Since I’ve decided to make my way back into the Parenthood universe, I’ve also decided to go back to the beginning and watch all the episodes I have missed (thank you Netflix!). I’m almost done with season 3, but I already know where the road leads for Julia and Joel. Julia can’t get pregnant again. They want to adopt. The baby they are promised is kept by his biological mother. They are instead paired with fully grown 9 year old boy. And, gosh these two have gone through a lot, haven’t they? Can they get a break anytime soon? I was actually thinking about the episode from season 2 where Joel tells Julia that he will never cheat on her even though he knows they are going to go through a lot as a couple. I kind of wanted to scream at the TV,” dude you have no idea”! With that said, I think as viewers, and even as someone who hasn’t actually watched all of this play out yet, you are kind of waiting for these two to get some sort of a happy ending. So I have to say that as I’ve been watching this season half of me is kind of like, can’t this kid just bond to Julia really quickly so that Julia can finally be happy. On the other hand, being someone who has seen firsthand how different it can be to take in older children versus an infant, I didn’t want the issues that go along with that to be glossed over. Parenthood has not disappointed on that front, and with that Julia continues her tremendous character development. It’s interesting to simultaneously see her so fleshed out this season while also watching season 1 where to me, she is the least developed Braverman sibling. The process for Julia has been one of letting go. Letting go of the control she so desperately needs. Letting go of her safety net. And letting go of the expectations she has for herself and for others.

From the very first episode, the show does not shy away from the tough issues that come with adopting an older child. Julia tells Joel at the end of the first episode, “I feel like I’m waiting to fall in love with our son”. It’s such a real and honest moment and I’m glad the writers allowed Julia to be that vulnerable. Julia doesn’t like to show that she’s struggling with something and it’s a testament to her growth that she admits out loud that things are not going as well or as easily as she hoped. The reality is that, Julia didn’t get the newborn baby that she wanted. You know, the kid with the clean slate. She got a 9 year old boy, with a slate that’s plenty full. So it’s not just about accepting that Victor is now her son, it’s about accepting and yes, eventually loving, everything that goes along with that. And that’s the struggle we see play out for the remainder of the season.

Julia starts off this season with the mindset, if I just show this kid that I love and trust him, it’s going to work. And at first, it does in some ways. The issues begin when Victor gets an ‘A’ on his math test. Julia is so excited; partly because she’s proud of him and partly because it’s some validation that the hard work she’s been putting in for the past few months is finally paying off. Then Victor hits her with the bombshell. He wants to show the test to his “real” mom. What a punch to the stomach that is for Julia. I mean, think about it. She’s quit her job. She’s put Victor ahead of Sydney in some ways. She’s read all the books. All to lose out to the woman who has let her son down time and again. That sucks. Plain and simple. Of course Victor is not doing this maliciously (I’m talking to you, you many Victor haters). His mom is his mom. Julia is at best an acquaintance, at worst a stranger. Of course this leads to a lot of negative interactions that don’t help with the bonding that Julia so desperately craves. When victor is told that he’s not allowed to communicate with his mom, he shuts down, becomes enraged, throws a bat at Sydney, calls the police and claims child abuse, and with all that Julia’s doubts and fears grow. Will Victor ever bond with her? Is she putting Sydney at risk? And most importantly, can she do this?

But the biggest doubt, which comes out so beautifully in a scene with Crosby, is  “….if i don’t see something that tells me that someday maybe we can have a loving relationship, then, you know, then I shouldn’t be his mom because he should be able to have that with someone”. In a sense, is she the mother that Victor needs? Is she being fair to Victor? I loved watching this all play out not only because it was juxtaposed against Joel seemingly not having any doubts but also because it shows us that all of the doubts aren’t coming from a selfish place at all. They are coming from a place of love and caring.  Before this scene, it sometimes felt like Joel was just willing to accept that Victor might take a while to bond with the family, but that Julia was wanting it to happen right away it suit her own need of feeling loved by Victor right away. Julia is stuck between a rock and a hard place because I think Erika Christensen is right. I don’t think she could forgive herself if she gives up on Victor. But I don’t think she could forgive herself is she really isn’t the right choice for him either. The conversation with Crosby, besides being one of the best interactions of the season, really puts things in perspective for Julia and gives her the push that she needs. And with that Julia let’s go. She lets go of thinking that she can completely control this situation. She lets go of the safety net that is thinking she can give Victor back. She lets go of the expectation that Victor is going to magically be fully adjusted to her home. And most importantly, she lets go of the idea that she has to be the perfect mom to Victor. I love, love, love the scene where she tells Victor that they are going to finalize his adoption and asks if that sounds good to him. It’s so true to her character and the way she has been presenting all season. She not only wants, but needs Victor’s approval. Because if he’s not okay with it, neither is she. He’s not exactly excited, but he says sure and goes about his day, which is enough for her. She’s taking the leap that Joel asked her to but not without some lingering reservations.

Before I close this out and leave my finale thoughts to the next post, can we just take a moment to acknowledge how much Erika Christensen can get across to us just with her facial expressions? I’ve loved her since Traffic. Then she took a weird detour with Swimfan. But I’m happy to see that my instinct about her was right. She’s been nothing short of excellent this season using her ability to say so much without having to say anything at all. And while we’re at it, let’s just take another moment to acknowledge Jason Katims’ uncanny ability to write married couples so wonderfully. The way Julia and Joel have supported each other over the last three seasons is textbook Jason Katims (please see Eric and Tami Taylor).

With that, I’m going to leave this very long post behind. Check back soon for my thoughts on the way this storyline was wrapped up in the finale.